froggie...
July 19th 2008 18:14
Froggie…
I met a French girl. And my friendship with her changed dramatically within 2 months. I said goodbye to her today and I felt sad to not share funny moments with her anymore.
My first reaction was not at all of the nicest intentions, as I felt threatened by her ability to become one of the boys. I also felt threatened by her world knowledge and her broad experience that she talked immensely about.
It wasn’t until I really got to know her and give her some time that I realised she was not doing anything on purpose to hurt me, she was just a typical 18 year old out to have fun.
I was threatened by an 18 year old at age 21 and suddenly I felt silly to have even thought about rivalling against her. I began to realise that I was just like her at the age of 18 and began to deeply understand her life and values.
One of five children, her mother seems to be the deep core of her unhappiness in life as she has never been able to keep her ongoing wishes happy. I tell her that she is one of the smartest people I know as she can speak French, English and Spanish while just being accepted into one of London’s highly acclaimed universities. This she has never heard from the one person that counts.
We lie down in a park in Madrid and suddenly we feel there is so much to tell, from both sides. She wanted to jump twice but now she sees the real reason was she just wanted people to realise how badly she was feeling. Simply needing someone to talk to. Her ex boyfriend, from Poland, helped her talk about things that she had never dared talked about but desperately needed to talk about. Some of her friends just couldn’t except she was an unhappy individual therefore creating more and more unhappiness at playing a role she didn’t want to.
She has never had a French bf or had many French friends. When someone talks to her in French she seems to want to change into English as she needs and continually searches for freedom from the old boring normal world. As she is about to begin her studies in anthropology she is excited to see the world and to be able to communicate to the people that she meets.
She has her moments sometimes when she gets so excited and so anxious that she needs to do something, go somewhere, party or just walk. This at times can come at a moment when my flatmates and I want to just sit on the couch and watch TV or study. This can be problematic, as she will never allow you to watch TV and continue to do anything possible to get your attention. Looking back at the few times she was a little annoying, it was also quite funny and we had a good laugh. There can never be too many laughs.
When I tell Frenchie about my own dramas throughout my life, she is surprised at how well I came out the other side. It may have been the first time that I had heard that from anyone and I really appreciated that she could recognise that within me. Her sister and brother followed a path of drugs after their parents divorce and she was glad I didn’t follow the same road.
At a party we held at our place it came up in conversation that her dad was never at home and she hated her mum and always will. I think I remember being a little shocked, as I cannot fathom ever feeling any anger towards my mother. Once Frenchie talked to me privately and told me stories about what her mother has mentally done to her throughout her life, I understand that there is no way to feel love towards someone who has put you down about absolutely everything. She really was never good enough.
Froggie is fun to be around. She shines with positivism and I love her energy for life. I hope her ways continue all over the world as she touches different spots with her wisdom.
I met a French girl. And my friendship with her changed dramatically within 2 months. I said goodbye to her today and I felt sad to not share funny moments with her anymore.
My first reaction was not at all of the nicest intentions, as I felt threatened by her ability to become one of the boys. I also felt threatened by her world knowledge and her broad experience that she talked immensely about.
It wasn’t until I really got to know her and give her some time that I realised she was not doing anything on purpose to hurt me, she was just a typical 18 year old out to have fun.
One of five children, her mother seems to be the deep core of her unhappiness in life as she has never been able to keep her ongoing wishes happy. I tell her that she is one of the smartest people I know as she can speak French, English and Spanish while just being accepted into one of London’s highly acclaimed universities. This she has never heard from the one person that counts.
We lie down in a park in Madrid and suddenly we feel there is so much to tell, from both sides. She wanted to jump twice but now she sees the real reason was she just wanted people to realise how badly she was feeling. Simply needing someone to talk to. Her ex boyfriend, from Poland, helped her talk about things that she had never dared talked about but desperately needed to talk about. Some of her friends just couldn’t except she was an unhappy individual therefore creating more and more unhappiness at playing a role she didn’t want to.
She has her moments sometimes when she gets so excited and so anxious that she needs to do something, go somewhere, party or just walk. This at times can come at a moment when my flatmates and I want to just sit on the couch and watch TV or study. This can be problematic, as she will never allow you to watch TV and continue to do anything possible to get your attention. Looking back at the few times she was a little annoying, it was also quite funny and we had a good laugh. There can never be too many laughs.
When I tell Frenchie about my own dramas throughout my life, she is surprised at how well I came out the other side. It may have been the first time that I had heard that from anyone and I really appreciated that she could recognise that within me. Her sister and brother followed a path of drugs after their parents divorce and she was glad I didn’t follow the same road.
At a party we held at our place it came up in conversation that her dad was never at home and she hated her mum and always will. I think I remember being a little shocked, as I cannot fathom ever feeling any anger towards my mother. Once Frenchie talked to me privately and told me stories about what her mother has mentally done to her throughout her life, I understand that there is no way to feel love towards someone who has put you down about absolutely everything. She really was never good enough.
Froggie is fun to be around. She shines with positivism and I love her energy for life. I hope her ways continue all over the world as she touches different spots with her wisdom.
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